Life can be unnecessarily cruel when it comes to dealing its cards. Sometimes it gets me wondering if there is really a God after all, if there is always so much negative emotions circulating the atmosphere. I mean, just look at this world that we live in. Countries such as Iraq and Afghanistan still suffering from the effects of war. What about the after effects of war such as the affected descendants of the Agent Orange chemical used in Vietnam? Naturally occurring disasters such as the current flood in Queensland affecting the lives of so many innocent critters and even people.
From the more epic news that make the headlines of newspapers to the smaller, but equally humane issues that we face everyday on an individual scale. What about that fight that you had with your family members/bestfriend/significant other? Colleagues giving you a bad time? Feeling inferior/ belittled/ used/ jealousy/anger? But as what they say, if the Devil is real, then God must be real too - aptly quoted from the movie Devil by M. Night Shyamalan.
While I'm at it - let me throw in a mini review of a current movie that I have soaked in with my parents recently. Now I may not have been Shyamalan's greatest fan, but I found this movie rather riveting. It comes in a simple plot with everything tying in at the end of the movie. Most interestingly, it has managed to make me hold my breath while most of the movie was shot within an elevator shaft! So do watch it if you get the chance.
Before I further digress from the initial intent of my post, I was trying to point out that there are many incomprehensible occurrences in life that bothers me, deeply. At this stage of life, it is appalling to find that I still do not understand quite an array of simple life skills that are expected of me. For example, I still do not fully comprehend why my first relationship ended the way it did. And I have no means of escaping the whirlwind of implications that comes along with it and still haunts me today. On more emo/rainy days, i am still wondering if what I feel is normal. Or should I just accept the fact that I have already moved on as humanly possible and that I will never be the same again because I am scarred and always will be?
On other instances, I cannot comprehend why I am such a laggard in life where I see many of my peers achieving financial independence and blissful relationships or even more, marriages (damn! I am seriously at THAT age) while I am still left lingering on uncertainty in various aspects of my life! Am I really so bad? But hey, I can't be comparing myself to every Tom, Dick and Harry or should I say Tina, Desiree and Sally? LoL.
But for being such an insignificant little spec on the face of the universe - I sure have alot of issues beyond my comprehension! I kinda felt that way the day Eu Jin bought the few of us up to Ampang Lookout Point and I was so engrossed staring out at the nightlights - twinkling from the distance, imagining if each twinkle was to represent the life of some stranger. If merely looking out from a distance at Ampang Lookout can reduce KL city to an intricate mass of lights, how can anyone's issue possibly be larger than life?
The view from Ampang Lookout Point.
And I have come to the conclusion that the deepest of my incomprehension always stems from the loss of someone close by. The loss of anyone, by any means at all - is surely to gouge out a piece of us (be it large or small), and it hurts. Is this another point where I should say that losing someone is a form of growing up? How many incomprehensible losses have I gone through already? How many more are there to come? Questions questions, so many questions with no solid answers.
I will never understand why some people are the way they are. And I have finally realized that sometimes in this roller coaster ride that we call Life - there are some things that would occur beyond our comprehension and understanding, and there is little that we can really do about it, except acceptance.
But acceptance does not come easy to me without understanding. *sighs* Interestingly though, Devil (the earlier mentioned movie) highlights that we should simply take responsibility for our actions. Because we are always exactly where we are due to our own choices and decisions. (Now you see why I'm so riveted by that movie? It casts such a simple title to portray a simple message but wow, its a strong message indeed). This reflects that we are not really responsible for anyone else's actions except for our own. Hence, understanding is not necessarily required for us to be free from the Devil.... except for acceptance, be it in the form of unwavering faith or forgiveness.
Well that is my interpretation at least. But it helps me in my current predicament where I seek, almost desperately for acceptance. Acceptance for the things that I cannot control, for the things that I cannot change so that I may be a person worthy of all the love around me, as cliché as that sounds. Okay, maybe I should just end this post here before it becomes any longer of an emotic, rambling post!
I would like to close with a deliciously suave quote I have managed to dig from my Tai Poh's Window's Messenger page while rummaging through it awhile ago. Apparently she got it from Hitch the movie.
"Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away frombad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away. - from the movie Hitch -"
Baby Claire. Yes its a HER, to some of you insensitive blokes. Just because she has very little hair doesn't make her a boy.
Yummy dessertssss.
Here is the 3/4 chicken.
Only on roadtrips do we have time to take such pictures. Lolz.
Prawn Dumplings.